FML Mondays

As a reminder, these are not MY FMLs. These were ones I found particularly funny and so they have been taken from the website. I'm sure that is illegal, but, at least I am giving credit to the website: www.fmylife.com


Today, I gave my mother a pre-prepared deposit envelope with my fortnightly wage in it, in cash. I tell her exactly where the deposit box is and what to do. I'm now desperately calling the bank because my mother accidentely put my $1200 deposit in the little trash can for receipts under the ATM. FML

Today, I went for a run. I ended up being tackled by two cops, handcuffed, and dragged to the station with no explanation. Turns out a house nearby had been robbed and the best description they got was 'A man running'. I didn't even get an apology. FML

Today, my little 7 and 6 year old cousins came visit my family home. I heard the oldest one say that my sister was nice and pretty. Then the youngest replied "Yeah, but the older one has the face of a murderer." FML

Today, my boyfriend of a year told me he is at the point in his life where he is ready to start a family, get married and have a baby. He also casually stated that he wished he could meet someone he could see himself settling down with. FML

Today, a friend asked me if I could help him set up the stage for his wedding. Feeling honored that he considered me a close enough friend to aid him on his special day, I agreed to help. Turns out we aren't so close. I was asked to leave after I was done because I hadn't actually been invited. FML

My favorite for the day is......

Today, I was lying in bed late at night trying to fall asleep. I blew my nose on a kleenex and was too lazy to get up and put it in the garbage. I threw it under my bed when I heard a whispery voice say "Thank you". It was my little brother trying to scare me. I peed myself. FML

Pray, Stupid

Do you ever have those moments where you think:

"What in the world am I going to do? How am I going to get through this?"

and you stress and you stress over a solution, until finally one hits you: PRAY, STUPID!

And isn't it a relief when that solution finally hits you and you realize that there is something bigger out there? Something bigger than YOU, bigger than your PROBLEM, bigger than your CIRCUMSTANCE, and certainly bigger than your EXISTENCE as a WHOLE! You suddenly realize that it's not only not up to you to figure out what to do, but it's more or less your obligation to leave it to Him. That, friends, is a drastic relief to the panic, the fear, the anxiety, the dread, and the utter human emotion of WORRY!

My biggest worry here on earth is money. How am I going to live on my own? How am I going to pay for school? How am I going to buy those new tires I so desperately need? And the list goes on and on. As I was fretting the other day about how I am going to get past a rather large debt I owe, in addition to paying my expired tag ticket and buying new tires, this realization hit me like a gust of wind. PRAY!! Just pray. Not just pray for the money for each of these, but also that God would instill in me a sense of peace and security in Him. A sense of knowing that He has everything under control. That if I ask Him, He will provide what I need, as He always has and always will. And a sense that this, this life, this existence, is only temporary and a mere pin-prick when compared to the glorious eternity that awaits His believers.

When in doubt: PRAY, STUPID!!

CIA

One of my favorite television shows is Alias, starring Jennifer Garner. I happen to own all of the seasons on DVD and have watched them all about 3 times. I wasn't kidding when I said it was my favorite. My favorite thing about the show is their ability to pull themselves through impossible situations by means of weapons or fighting. I, personally, would love to learn kickboxing. In addition, I would love to learn basic multiple languages such as Spanish, Italian, French, German, Russian, Portuguese, and Arabic as well as the more obscure languages such as Korean, Persian, Turkish, and Indonesian. Why would I like to learn these, you ask? Well, I think it would be awesome to be an operative for the CIA. I have researched it recently and learned that they really do have spies for the CIA. They are a part of the Clandestine Services, and they are known as Core Collectors. They are not told that they cannot tell their families and friends, but they strongly encouraged not to do so, even through the application and interview process. These people can range in age from 25-35 years old, and they can have a minimum of a bachelor's degree, and several years experience in substantive business or military before applying. Am I, in any form or fashion, smart enough or capable of becoming one of these people? Of course not, but a girl can dream, right?

PROS vs. CONS

I cannot decide where to live. I want to live in Atlanta, GA, Augusta, GA, and Shelbyville, TN all at the same time. There are, of course, pros and cons for each one, but the problem is I can't decide which pros really outweigh which cons and which cons outweigh which pros. So, I am enlisting your help to decide. Here goes:

ATLANTA

Pros:
I have a job.
I live for free.
There is a much larger job market for after school.
Billy, Tracy, and the boys.

Cons:
I have no friends.
There isn't really a school near me that I want to go to.
Traffic.
I would soon want a place of my own, but rent is very expensive here.
Look for a new job elsewhere.
No church, and I HATE church shopping.

AUGUSTA

Pros:
I have family there.
I would be between my parents and Billy and Tracy.
It puts me 2 hours closer to my parents.
There is a really nice school, ASU, that I would like to attend.
Less traffic.
Cheaper to live than in Atlanta.

Cons:
Farther from friends in TN and KY.
Have to find a job.


TENNESSEE

Pros:
I have many friends there and a church to go to!
Less traffic.
A school that I would want to attend.
Cheaper to live than Atlanta, and I already have a roommate.
This is my #1 place to move to.
Less job market after grad.
Don't have a job right away.
Closer to friends in KY.
I was always happy here.


Cons:
I would be 8 hours from my parents, 6 hours from Augusta, and 4 hours from Atlanta.
No job.
I might would have to pay out-of-state fees at school.
In order not to pay extra fees, I would have to live there for one year, but how?
Nowhere near family.

I have italicized the ones that I think are the most important, or weigh the most. What do you think?

Vitamin Water

Whenever I am at work, I usually get really thirsty. In my effort not to drink a lot of coke at work, or at all for that matter, I went in search of an alternative. I had seen this stuff called Vitamin Water, but I always passed it by, being that I am not a big fan of flavored water. I also didn't really know of anyone who drank it, so there was no one I could ask for their opinion. Finally, one day I broke down and bought one. In case you are not familiar, they come in several different flavors, each one designed for a specific purpose. So, I picked one out (I think I picked Focus, because it was pink!) and proceeded to the check out. Well, I tried, and after that, I was hooked. I have tried several different flavors and have actually found some favorites. My #1 is Revive, which is fruit punch. This one offers plenty of potassium, vitamin c, and several b vitamins. Its purpose is to revive you, or refresh you if you are not feeling particularly energetic. My next favorite is Power+C, which is dragonfruit. This one offers vitamin c, zinc, and a couple of b vitamins. Its purpose is to give you the power and stamina needed to run marathons, or chase your kids! Lastly, I like Focus, which is kiwi-strawberry. This one offers lutein, vitamin a, c, and several b vitamins. Its purpose, according to glaceau.com, is to "positively contribute to your eye health." So, not only have a found a refreshing beverage that tastes good, but it's good for me too!

Tattoos

For a little while now, I have been thinking of getting a tattoo. I haven't ever really been one to want a lot of tattoos or piercings, but now I think I would like just a little something, just because it is a little out of character for me. However, I don't want to get a tattoo, just to be getting a tattoo. I want it to be something significant. Something that means something to me, and not just a stupid butterfly or flower with my name on it. Something meaningful. So, I set out in search of the perfect, meaningful, tattoo. I was thinking about a Chinese symbol for something like "love" or "purity" or "grace," but then a friend turned me onto Japanese symbols, which are actually a lot prettier. In typing in "Japanese tattoos" on google, I found a website called www.stockkanji.com and I think I have found what I am looking for. The symbol itself means "God's Grace" and it is very pretty. If you go to the website, click on religious. Scroll down a bit and you will see a large list of things in that category, including God's grace. If you click on that one, 4 different designs will appear at the top of the page, and the one I am considering is labeled "semi-cursive." If I were to get it, it would go on the top of my foot just under my pinky toe. (yes, I stole this location from my friend, Leslie. I am such a copy cat, I know!) What do you think?

Give It Up

Several years ago, I made the decision to give up soda and ice cream for one year. Starting that day in September, 2002, I would not drink soda or eat ice cream for one year. Of course, I had rules. Well, one rule. I kept sprite so that when I went to a restaurant where I didn't trust the water they would have made the sweet tea with, I could get a fountain drink that I thought would be "safe." I did very well for that one year, and really, I wasn't tempted at all. For example, one time, I went to Baskin Robbins with some church members on the way home from Gatlinburg. They all got ice cream, but I wasn't even tempted to cave. I made it that whole year without drinking any kind of "coke" except for sprite at restaurants, but when it came to ice cream, that following June, I caved. Back then, ice cream was my weakness, so when it got hot, self-control went out the window and I enjoyed some mint chocolate chip ice cream. Even now though, I limit myself on the number of soft drinks I have in one day, and ice cream is no longer something I have to have. If I eat it, I try to be mindful of the other sweets I eat as the days/weeks go by so that I don't have to go up a pants size.

I don't really know why I did it. For the most part, I think I just became aware how much of each of them I consumed and decided that in order to kick the habit, I just needed to stop cold turkey. It was during this little "exercise" that I learned I have impeccable self-control, which is something I greatly appreciate!

Why did I just tell you all of that, you ask? Well, I have decided, once again, to give something up. At this very moment, I have no idea what that something(s) is, but I definitely think soda will be on the list. Since I don't really eat a lot of ice cream these days anyway, it would hardly be worth the effort to lay off, and I don't really eat that many sweets. (despite the fact that I work in a bakery!!) Even now, as I sit here, I can't really think of any one thing that I eat too much of. So, perhaps I shouldn't so much focus on something I should GIVE UP, as I should think about what I should TAKE UP. For example, instead of giving up ice cream, I should eat more vegetables (which I LOVE, so no problem there!). I'm going to have to think on this, in the meantime..........

Any suggestions?