FMyLife Monday

So, as a way to throw a little humor into the lives of my readers, I have decided to make Mondays "FMyLife Mondays." Using the website, fmylife.com, I will be posting my favorite fmylife stories on here for all to enjoy!

Today, I finally got my yearbook for senior year in high school. I started what everyone does, which is count how many times I appear in the yearbook. I stopped when I found a prominent photo of me, picking my nose in class. FML

Today, I grabbed a t-shirt from a basket of clean laundry. It felt quite damp. Later that day I mentioned it to my mum. She says, 'I forgot to tell you the cat has taken to urinating on the laundry when hes mad'. I wore that t-shirt all day, not even noticing I smelt like cat pee. FML

Today, My 5 year old sister informed me she had left me a present in my bed. She had tied a ribbon around a dead rat's neck and propped it up on my pillow. The label says his name was Bert. FML

Today, I found my long lost diary and curiously read it. What's worse than finding out that your mother read your diary? Finding out that your mother wrote comments in it. FML

Today, I was looking through my high school yearbook. I found a picture of myself and a couple of my friends at our senior prom. The caption gave the names of all my friends, their dates who didn't attend our school, and listed me only as "guest." FML

Today, I was walking around the park with my wife. Out of nowhere, a little girl on a bicycle slammed in to me, knocking me to the ground. As I rolled over, sure that my ankle was broken, her father ran over to me. He screamed, "Watch where you're going, douchebag!" FML

These were the best I could do today. Stay tuned for next week's edition of "FMyLife Mondays"!

Stupid People

I work behind the customer service desk, aka control center, at work and I generally stay pretty busy. During this time, I usually come across several stupid people at any given time. One day, a lady comes up to the desk and tells me she needs me to call her a cab. At the time, I was finishing something up, so I politely tell her that we have a phone that customers may use, and I will provide her a phonebook so she can call the cab and not have to wait for me. As I am walking to get the phonebook, she begins her little rant.

"Oh, I see. Is this a new service Kroger is offering where customers can call their own cabs?"

I figure, this can go either way and I respond with a simple, "yes, ma'am."

"Well," she says, "I am going to need to speak with a manager about this 'new service' Kroger is offering where a customer has to call her own cab."

At this point, the manager-on-duty walks behind the desk on his phone.

"Is this the manager? I am going to need to speak with this manager," she tells me.

I, again, say "yes, ma'am," and turn to get his attention as he is hanging up his phone. I then proceed to tell him that this customer would like to speak with him. This is how that plays out:

"Excuse me, yes, I need to speak with you about this 'new service' Kroger is offering their customers. I walked up to ask this lady to call me a cab. She hands me a phonebook and tells me to call my own cab."

My manager responds: "Well, ma'am, we usually hold our customers responsible for calling their own cabs. We have this phone here that most of our customers know they can use freely for such matters."

"Well, I am legally blind, but my medical history is none of this young lady's business. I cannot see that phonebook. That young lady is just standing there. Look at her, she is not doing anything. She could be calling me a cab."

My manager responds: "Ok, ma'am. I will call you a cab. Did you have a specific cab service you would prefer?"

My manager then proceeds to call this woman a cab. He walks away, after which coming back and telling me "not to worry about it. How was anyone supposed to know she was blind? She was reading a book!" (when she walked up to the desk, she had a notebook with her that she was flipping through, and sunglasses on her face. nothing about these sunglasses say that she is blind; i simply thought she was weird wearing sunglasses indoors- people do that, you know!)

The woman, however, goes to stand near the door to get something out of her purse, at which point a young man who is with her, and with whom I have already spoken to about his job application and I know for sure that he is perfectly capable of calling a cab for the two of them, walks up and together, they proceed outside to wait for the cab she wanted me, the white girl, to call for her.

What are you reading?

Months and months ago I talked about looking for new reading material. While I love all of my "old faithfuls" such as Harry Potter and Twilight, I was looking for something a little different. So, one day I decided to spend some time in Borders reading through books and looking for something that might pique my interest. In my search, I discovered an author by the name of Philippa Gregory. She writes historical fiction- a concept I never did understand- and I found that I absolutely love it. Whether you know it or not, you are probably familiar with one of her books, "The Other Boleyn Girl" which was made into a movie starring Natalie Portman and Scarlett Johansson. Neither of whom are very high on my favorites list, but I did enjoy the movie. Anyways, this book tells the story of Anne Boleyn and Henry Tudor, or Henry VIII, and it is told from the perspective of Mary Boleyn, Anne's younger sister. After reading this book, and finding myself lost in the world Gregory creates, I promptly went on half.com and ordered several of her others that I had looked through in the bookstore, and decided I had to have. Many of these titles include: "The Boleyn Inheritance" which tells the story of what happened 3 years after the death of Anne Boleyn; "The Queen's Fool" which tells the story of a young, holy fool named Hannah who serves under King Edward, Queen Mary, and Queen Elizabeth; and "The Constant Princess" which tells the story of how Queen Katherine became an English queen. I don't know about you, but I find that I am fascinated with the deceit and scandal that surrounds the Tudor court, and I cannot get enough of these fictional stories surrounding these non-fiction characters!

Summer Blockbusters

Every summer the movie theaters are filled to the max with moviegoers across the country going to see the summer's hottest blockbusters. This summer I plan to see

"The Proposal"
"My Sister's Keeper"
"Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince"
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen"
"All About Steve"
"Year One"
"The Ugly Truth"

and many more..............

What's on your list?

FMyLife

Recently a friend turned me onto a website called "FMyLife." It. Is. HILARIOUS!!!! The idea is that people will go to the website and share something really horrible that has happened. Each entry begins with "Today, ..." and ends with "FML." Here are some of my favorites from the ones I read today:


"Today, I was talking with my mother and expressed my slight disappointment at how many of my friends are getting into relationships, whereas I'm still single. My mother decided to encourage me by saying "Don't worry, sweetie. There are boys out there who don't go for looks. You'll be fine". FML"

"Today, I got the courage to ask my mom if I could go to the movies alone on my first date with my new boyfriend. She said ok, which was surprising because she never lets me go anywhere alone. When I got to the theatre with him I saw my mom. She had saved seats for us. FML"

"Today, I saw my boyfriend for the last time for two years. When we got back from dinner, we sat in his truck for a little while to talk. A few minutes later, my mom comes flying out of my house screaming, "Satan is here, and he is tempting you!" That is the last memory he will have of me. FML"

"Today, I was working at Target when an old woman asked me if I could help her find her favorite bra. I proceeded to ask what brand it was when she replied "I'll check the tag". She lifted up the front of her shirt, and flipped one cup of her bra inside out. I saw everything. FML"

Big Changes

Since birth, I have led a unique life. I was born into a world of sheer uncertainty, surprise, and lack of want. When I was born, my mom was 18 years old, and the last thing she needed, wanted, or expected was a baby, However, there I was. Fortunately for us both, she had two parents who were not only available to help her, but also willing, For the first 5 years of my life, we lived with my grandparents, something I would not change for the world. Because of this, I was able to form a very special bond with both of my grandparents, especially my grandfather. On the other hand, I never really knew my biological father. I had a relationship with his parents, specifically his mother, and his brothers, but I never knew him. That was my choice, and he left me to it. As years went on, my mom got married and the man she married immediately became my daddy. That will never change. I got a baby sister and a baby brother, and we moved to Tennessee. I lost touch with my biological fathers' family, something I attribute to lack of communication, and my life continued without them. I was happy. I had my parents, my siblings, my grandparents, my friends, and my home. There was no void. I did think about the other side of my family but had no idea whether or not I should make contact, or how well I would be received. When I graduated from HS, I invited my biological fathers' family, including my biological father, to my HS graduation. I never expected them to come. They did. I had no idea what to say or how to respond. I was truly shocked. After that day, neither them nor I made any efforts to communicate. My life continued; My family moved to Kentucky, I went to college, my grandfather died, I had a hard time and quit school. Several years later, my family decided to move back to Georgia; Atlanta to be exact. This is when I really began to ponder making contact with my biological fathers' family. Here I was, in Atlanta, Ga and I knew they were all in Augusta- a mere two hours away. I knew I wasn't ready, if I ever would be ready, to see or build a relationship with him, but I did miss my grandmother. Not long after I moved, I received a friend request on Facebook from one of my biological fathers' brothers. After the element of surprise subsided, I accepted the request, after which I promptly messaged my mother and told her who had found me. It turns out, she had added my "uncle" and he had found me from her page. From there, I got a request from 2 aunts: one I knew from years ago, and one I didn't even know existed. Finally, I found my grandmother. Since then, I have been to Augusta to see them many times, and will continue to visit them many times more. In addition, I made the brave effort to see and talk to my biological father. I don't know how or why, I simply decided that it was time. I still don't know him, and he certainly doesn't know me, but we are working towards building some kind of relationship. I don't really know where this is headed, and that both scares me and intrigues me all at the same time. I do know that this is a journey worth taking, and one that is long overdue.